Name this product!

So, I bought one of these the other day. The iPod, not the hand. It was a completely unnecessary purchase, and, frankly, I'm surprised that I didn't have a heart attack at spending so much money. I must have really wanted it, 'cause I was very easily talked into it. And it's hard to talk me into spending money on anything over five dollars.

Anyway, the rule around our house seems to be that if something costs more than $100, it gets a people name. There are a few exceptions, as the television and a few other products are still referred to by their product names. But we've had cars named Ellie, Chuck, Lucy, and Sylvie. My scooter was named B.B. (short for Bella Bleu). The PDA is named Petey. And the Sansa mp3 player is named Santa (pronounced Sanna).

But so far, we haven't thought of a good name for the new iPod, and it's so fucking cool that it deserves a name. Going with the Petey and Santa process (giving names based on product names), we considered Poddy. But its homophonic partner ruled that one out. We also considered Ippy, but that was just dumb.

So, I'm opening it up to you, dear readers, for suggestions. I should be careful about this, as the last time I left something open for a vote it was decided that my next job should be as a circus performer. But I'm taking a leap of faith and putting it in your hands. Don't let me down*.



*Amy, I'm lookin' at you here.

Friday Weigh In, 6/29/07

Break out the champagne, folks, 'cause Gender Blank is 30.4 pounds lighter than she was in January! Wahoooo!

I weighed in at 183.6 this morning. Rock the fuck on. But the best part of it all is the following three things, in no particular order:

1. The last time I went shopping for clothes, I got to look on the non-Fat-Lady side! And I bought two belts, which I wear nearly every day. Not at the same time. But belts!

2. When I see my reflection in glass doors, I can now see the muscle that runs down the front of my shins. What is that, the shin muscle? Wikipedia says it's the tibialis, but you just can't trust that source. I think it's called the shin muscle. Anyway, I can see my shin muscles, which have been hiding out for a few years, tucked away under a nice, thick sheath of fat. Welcome back, girls!

3. I walked up the stairs from the second floor mailroom to my seventh floor office yesterday! In one stretch! By the time I got to the fifth floor I was feelin' it. When I got to the sixth floor, I considered taking the elevator for the last floor. But I didn't want to look stupid or lazy, so I trudged on. When I got to the top, I hung out in the stairwell for a few seconds trying to catch my breath. And I was still trying to catch it as I walked down the hall to my office. And a minute later when I walked to the bathroom. My lungs felt a little like they were about to explode, but what a grand feeling! I haven't taxed my cardiovascular system like that in years! It really did feel like shit, but I felt morally superior afterward, so it was worth it.
What chaps my ass about the whole thing, though, is that some douchebags who are trying to promote health (which is not a bad thing) placed stickers on the front surfaces of the stairs with sayings like "Take the Stairs - Your Heart Will Thank You" and other such shit. Four stairs out of every fucking flight. First, do they think people just don't know that taking the stairs is good for you? We got the memos, and thanks for the heap of guilt. 'Preciate it. But, more importantly, you can only see those stickers if you're already on the stairs! If you really want to lecture people about their health behaviors (which I don't recommend, 'cause it makes you an asshole), wouldn't the elevators have been a better place for those stickers? Kee-rist, people, use some common sense!

Anyway, as they say on Celebrity Fit Club, the scales don't lie. And this morning the scale took one look at me and said, "Congratulations, kid. Y'ain't quite so fat." That scale. She says the sweetest things.

Happy weekend, all!

Who needs men, anyway?

So, it looks like men are slouching toward irrelevance once again. 'Cause, see, researchers in Germany were able to take bone marrow and create something rather sperm-like. Which means, as you could very well guess, that women everywhere will kick their men to the curbs any minute now. Any minute now. Just you wait. Any minute now all those bitches are gonna shit all over the Nice Guys^TM who have done nothing but love them and take care of them. Bitches.

MSNBC contributor Brian Alexander is clearly worried about just such a situation. After acknowledging that all the fear-mongering about women making babies without Teh Penis is silly, he still comes out with this gem:

"I just want to know why you women are in such a rush to get rid of us. Sci-fi and fantasy literature are full of all-female societies like Wonder Woman’s home island. New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd penned a friendly little book in 2005 called “Are Men Necessary?” Are you trying to give us a complex or something?"

He goes on to say that men are nearly irrelevant now, what with all the neglect they experience at the hands of women who are interested in something other than men's every fucking desire. But he sees a place for a few lucky fellers down the road. "Frankly, you only need a small tribe of us guys equipped with porn magazines and plastic cups. You could feed us, groom us and give us a little exercise — pretty much like you do now," he says. Isn't it cute how he envisions himself as one of the Chosen Ones we'd keep around, well-fed and plied with porn? What I want to know, among other things, is why after this inevitable revolution women will STILL be expected to feed and groom men. Can women never escape this lot? Fuck you, sir.

He closes by offering a threat to women's currently oh-so-cushy existence, which, as we know, is supplied solely by these Nice Guys. "So ladies," he says, "laugh it up while you can because once those artificial eggs and the artificial womb hit the market, you’ll be buying your own dinners at Chez Francoise."

And he wonders why some of us are in such a rush to get rid of men.

PortlyDyke tagged me...fer real!

Rules (per PortlyDyke): Each person posts the rules before their list, then they list 8 things about themselves. At the end of the post, that person tags and links to 8 other people; then visits those people’s sites and comments, letting them know that they have been tagged, and to come read the post, so they know what they have to do.

It's doubtful that I'll tag anyone, as I hate to be a nuisance, and I realize that not everyone likes to do shit like this. But here are eight random facts about me.

1. I was outed on the evening news when I was in college. Pretty good way to announce something to the world, I guess. This was in November of 1997. There was really no looking back after that.

2. I am horrible at tending to things. This is why I don't garden. Or decorate for the holidays. And why I have six closed (and four scarred) piercings. And an outdated MySpace page. And several abandoned hobbies. I am terribly resentful of things that require any sort of upkeep (except, strangely, for this blog).

3. My first fall-hard crush on a girl came in seventh grade. She was my chorus teacher. And there was one each on my seventh grade and eighth grade volleyball coaches. And my eighth grade assistant softball coach. And then another chorus teacher. And then an English teacher (who had been the eighth grade volleyball coach). A definite pattern. Oh, and I married that last one. Scandalous!

4. When something funny catches me off guard, I laugh real loud like a monkey. People turn their heads at this. Sadly, monkey laughs have been in short supply in New Hampshire. It's lookin' up for New York, though.

5. I have hairy legs, but I watch America's Next Top Model.

6. On my birthday in 2001, I stopped eating red meat with the intention of becoming a vegetarian. I was going to give up something every year until I was offa meat altogether. I never got beyond that first step. There's still hope, though.

7. I can't stand Ben Stiller. Or Bill Paxton. Or Jerry Van Dyke. Can't. Stand 'em. But I love Will Ferrell in spite of myself.

8. My favorite movies to quote are Stand By Me and The Goonies. They fit almost anywhere.

All right. That's it, folks! Please feel free to tag yourselves or leave your peculiarities in comments.

I heart Shakesville

So, some fuckers have messed with my homies, and I'm prepared to throw down. Shakesville, which occupies the top spot on my blogroll, has been subjected to a DoS attack, and the site has been down for a couple of days. They're working to get it back up as we speak.

The current theories are that said fuckers launched the attack in response to either the post on the Brazilian yogurt company and their fatphobia or the post on how Jerry Seinfeld made light of rape. Of course, they say all sorts of controversial shit over at Shakesville (stuff like how women are people and other crazy shit like that), so it could have been anything that set off the latest Neanderthal attack.

Bark Bark Woof Woof has a roundup of other people writing about the issue. If you care about free speech and kicking silencing fuckwits in the crotch, go give these people some traffic. They're missing their beloved community as much as I am. You can also check out Shakesville's old site, Shakespeare's Sister to get an update and give Shakes and her crew some love.

In the meantime, I noticed some rape joke fights on the tubes on which I need to go weigh in. My work around here is never fucking done.

New blog rating

I made it! I graduated to NC-17! I knew I had it in me.

This latest rating is based on the use of:
fucking (7x)
suck (3x)
crap (2x)
asshole (1x)

I'm still unclear on why "suck" and "crap" are so bad, but I'm proud of the rating, so I'm not going to split hairs.

See ya later, crap suckers!

Friday Weigh In, 6/22/07

Zippity fucking doo-dah, folks! I'm back on the WWagon, and this week's weigh in reflects that. My previous low, adjusted for the new scale, was 184.5. This morning I weighed in at 184.3. And then I raised my arms in triumph. And I prolly did some sort of dance. 'Cause that's what I do. I'm very entertaining.

For those of you who haven't been following the progress, I 'fessed up last week to having fallen off the Weight Watchers wagon (WWagon) and both enjoying and hating it. It was approximately three weeks of food chaos, and the scale didn't keep the secret. Fucking scale.

Anyway, we got back into the groove last Tuesday or so and have been following the plan pretty rigidly. We nearly doubled our walking route and made healthy choices for dinner, and it felt good. I would have been happy even without the dramatic loss this week (which I suspect is partly due to dehydration), but it's nice to get the numerical pat on the back.

So, that makes 2.8 pounds this week and 29.7 overall. I'm shootin' for the 30-pound mark for next week. I don't want to get too far ahead of myself, 'cause last time I did that I managed to gain three pounds over the following three weeks. So, three tenths of a pound it is. Anything more will simply be a bonus.

I hope you'll all be around to celebrate if it happens.

Happy weekend, all!

A little weekend music, 6/22/07

How did you find me?

So, I was perusing my site stats, and I thought I'd share with you how some people have stumbled upon this site.

For some reason, typing "free slutty trannies" (no quotation marks) into a search engine leads you, eventually, to this very blog. Now, I know I've never typed those words in that order (or even in the same post), and I think I only mentioned trannies once - in my blaming of the Florida town that sacked one of its employees for getting a sex change (or wanting one - I can't remember just now, and I'm too lazy to look). I delight in the fact that at least two people looking for free slutty trannies landed here. Suckas.

But someone also got here by searching for "I hate being a tranny." Which just makes me sad. But I'm glad that person ended up here just the same, and I hope this was a safe and welcoming space.

At least one person ended up here by looking for "assbaggery."

Some budding feminists (I suspect) found me by typing "choosing not to shave" and "painful high heels." You're welcome. Go forth and spread the good word, blamers! I've made a mental note to ask Twisty and some of the others if I get some sort of commission or a finder's fee or something. What's my recruiting quota, anyway? Anyone know?

Of course, people also found me by typing in things that make total sense. Stuff relating to gender or feminsm, food, music, and all the other stuff I typically talk about. I imagine those people find lots of other blogs in their searches as well. And I'm glad to share my travelers with those other blogs, 'cause I'm not selfish.

Except for one. I'm gonna keep the person who searched for "what happens if a person drink antifreeze" all to myself. 'Cause I suspect that person needs a friend. And I need a project.

My fucking blog rating

So, I'm rated 'R' for using "lesbian"* and "suck." Curiously, there was no mention of the eff-word or "assbag" or any of the other colorful phrases I so lovingly craft for my dear readers' pleasure. What the hell do I work so hard for if it's not going to be recognized?

It's kinda like Homeland Security ignoring all my subversive activities. I figure if I'm not on a no-fly list, I'm not doing my job. And if I can't get anything stronger than an 'R' rating on this goddamned thing, I'm just gonna hafta work harder. Please fasten your seatbelts while I ratchet up the vulgar.

Fucking cheers!



*Apparently my very identity is vulgar to some people. Assbags.

All I really need to know I learned from Fraggle Rock

1. There exists a class of people on our society who do all the hard work.
2. There is another class of people who come along and eat that work. And then dance all day.
3. The class of people who do the work is not the class that gets revered; the dancers get their own television show.
4. The Dance Class thinks fat people are ugly and stupid and should be avoided.
5. Be careful of what you throw away. Trash heaps talk.
6. Always plug the holes in your wall. You never know what will come out.


Some of these things are unfortunate but nonetheless true. Some of these things are just good common sense.

Who you rootin' for?

Go here to see how your values and priorities match up with those running (or considering running ) for President of the United States. I was surprised a bit at how mine turned out. Specifically, I was surprised that Al Gore was so far down my list.

This is the second time I've taken this quiz over the last three days. My results were a bit different percentage-wise this time, but the overall ranking is, I believe, identical to the previous ranking. It points to the test not being a perfect metric, as there are only two choices for priority (high or low) and often two opposing choices for answers to the questions, neither of which has much nuance. But the quiz is better than most I've seen, and I encourage its use for entertainment at the very least.

For me, it is making me do some more reading about the candidates, and that's never a bad thing.


My Results:

1. Theoretical Ideal Candidate (100%)
2. Dennis Kucinich (79%)
3. Barack Obama (79%)
4. Alan Augustson (77%)
5. Joseph Biden (71%)
6. Hillary Clinton (70%)
7. Christopher Dodd (68%)
8. Wesley Clark (66%)
9. John Edwards (66%)
10. Al Gore (63%)
11. Bill Richardson (59%)
12. Mike Gravel (59%)
13. Ron Paul (43%)
14. Elaine Brown (43%)
15. Kent McManigal (42%)
16. Rudolph Giuliani (29%)
17. Mike Huckabee (28%)
18. John McCain (25%)
19. Mitt Romney (21%)
20. Tommy Thompson (18%)
21. Chuck Hagel (18%)
22. Sam Brownback (15%)
23. Newt Gingrich (14%)
24. Tom Tancredo (14%)
25. Fred Thompson (11%)
26. Duncan Hunter (9%)
27. Jim Gilmore (8%)

Friday Weigh In, 6/15/07 (The Neighbors Are Evil Edition)

Shit, as they say, happens. And boy did it happen for me the last two weeks. Remember how I said the evil neighbors coerced me into going out to eat Chinese food and then forced a bunch of tasty-but-fatty food into my mouth? Okay, it didn't happen exactly like that, but I swear that's how my memory is trying to recast it.

Anyway, after the Thursday Chinese Episode, all Hell broke loose. We had a combined yard sale that very same weekend, a two-day affair that turned out to be fairly lucrative and concluded with end-of-day dinners out. Pizza the first night. Applebee's the second. And Dunkin' Donuts for breakfast that second day, too. By Monday, we were completely off the fucking wagon. So we just kind of went with it. We travelled to our new town to look at an apartment on Tuesday/Wednesday, and travelling always gives us license to eat horribly. We ate at Arby's, Ponderosa, the Latte Lounge, the Broad Street Grill, Quizno's, and a gas station. But I balanced it all out with a Fuze Slenderize drink on the drive home. Gotta do my part.

Then we played with the neighbors some more on accounta they were fixing to move on Monday, so we invited them up to grill, after which we went to Applebee's for their lava cake. And then a couple days later we had them up to grill again, and to celebrate all of us moving on, I consumed four amaretto sours. And the next night we picked up pizza. Somewhere in all of this, we also had breakfast with them at a local diner.

Not pretty.

I didn't report my weigh-in last Friday because I was embarrassed. Not by the weight, but by the sense of being out of control. It would have been different if all the food had been worth it, but it was mostly crap. Seriously, Combos? Come on. How good can bright orange cheez wrapped in a pretzel be? Meh.

In addition to the Hungry Hungry Hippo eating, we bought a new scale, and it weighs a pound and a half heavier than the previous scale. So not only was I actually heavier from all the food, but the scale read a pound and half heavier than that. So the result looked even worse than it actually was. I didn't feel like explaining it last week, so I just decided to shut you all out. Hope you weren't all left hangin' and shit.

So, what to do now? Well, if the new scale weighed things a pound and a half lighter than the other scale, I was prepared to keep quiet about that and let you think I had actually lost weight over the last two weeks. I'm not proud of that, folks, but it's how I am. But I'm also the type of person who rats herself out after she lies about most things, so I thought I might as well go the honest route to begin with. If I can't be honest with a bunch of strangers (and a few well-chosen and invited friends), well, then I would suck. And I don't wanna suck, so honesty it is. Lucky you.

To adjust for the scale differential, I'm adding a pound and a half to my starting weight. So instead of starting at 212.5, my official starting weight will now be 214.0. And today's weigh-in was 187.1, so that makes...let me see here...26.9 pounds overall. And a gain of 1.6 pounds since the 5/25/07 weigh-in of 184.0 (adjusted for difference in scales).

It hasn't been a good few weeks, but things are looking up. The neighbors got so sick of hanging out with us that they moved away, so now we're back to having no friends to go out with. It's not great for us socially, but it'll prolly be better for our diets. Kind of a shitty trade-off, but whaddayagonnado? Plus, we've secured an apartment in our new town, so we won't have to do any more travelling until the move. So, back on the WWagon we go!

I hope to have more promising news to report next Friday.

Happy weekend, all!

A little weekend music, 6/15/07

Stuff on my cat

Oscar was incredibly patient yesterday. So I thought I'd reward him with a little public humiliation. That's the kind of mommy I am. Ain't he cute in pigtails? Oh, the indignity!

I quit.

That's right. I handed in my formal resignation yesterday, and six weeks from now, I will be a former secretary. Good goddess, that feels good.

Not that there's anything wrong with being a secretary - it's just not for me. The way that children and buffalo sauce are not for me (separately or in combination). They're perfectly fine choices for a person to make, but they give me indigestion. Likewise, secretary life makes me dyspeptic. Something about making someone else's photocopies and fetching food from the cafe that makes a master's degree feel dusty and hardly worth the debt.

So. Even though I'm not going to be using my particular degree in my new job, I will be getting to use my brain in a more intellectual way again. I will get to talk about ideas again. And values. And responsible citizenship. And making the world a better place. Stuff I care about.

I think I might even get a secretary*.




*And that secretary will be allowed to blog at work. Gotta pay it forward.

A four-point-oh in feminism

You Are 100% Feminist

You are a total feminist. This doesn't mean you're a man hater (in fact, you may be a man). You just think that men and women should be treated equally. It's a simple idea but somehow complicated for the world to put into action.

Are You a Feminist?

That test was totally easy. Of course, I've been studying for it for more than 30 years. Yes, in fact, I was a feminist right outta the womb. You can ask my mama. She'll tell you that I said to her, at the tender age of however old I was when I went to pre-school, that I was never going to get married because I wasn't going to have a man tell me what to do. I was just going to live at home and have babies.

Hey, I was in pre-school, folks. I got it half right.

Video corner - Mushaboom

This is Feist with "Mushaboom." If you're prone to epileptic seizures, you might not want to watch this video. Also, I had a hard time getting YouTube to load today, so my apologies if it takes awhile.

A little weekend music, 6/8/07

My musical life

So, I realized today, while looking at my iTunes library, that I have acquired quite a bit of music in the nearly two years we've been living in New Hampshire. I think this speaks to my need for escape from a very unhappy New Hampshire existence. Or something. Plus, we belong to BMG, and they keep sending shit every month because we keep forgetting to decline the offers, and then we get tons of associated free CDs of our (fairly limited) choice. Also, I got an mp3 player, which I was convinced I didn't need or want, but which was gifted to me and which slowly started saving my life. And prompting me to buy more music. Which is cheaper than therapy, so there you go. Anyway, I thought I'd do a little survey of what has served as the soundtrack to my life over the past couple of years. It will indicate, without a doubt, that I am not a music snob.

Singles for which I shelled out 99 whole cents:
1. Weird Al Yankovic, "White & Nerdy"
2. Gilda Radner, "Let's Talk Dirty to the Animals"
3. Annie Lennox and Howard Shore, "Into the West"
4. Imogen Heap, "Hide and Seek"
5. Outkast, "Hey Ya!" - wanted to be funny and add to a travel mix
6. Regina Spektor, "Fidelity"
7. Roisin Murphy, "Ramalama (Bang Bang)"
8. Hansen, "MMMBop" - again, trying to be funny
9. Edie Brickell, "What I Am"
10. Hem, "Half Acre"
11. Kate Havnevick, "Unlike Me"
12. Eminem, "Welcome to Detroit" - not for me, I swear!
13. Nina Simone, "Mississippi Goddam"
14. "Strange Fruit", can't remember the artist
15. Gladys Knight, "Midnight Train to Georgia"
16. Anna Nalick, "Catalyst"


Singles I like that I got for free from iTunes or other sources (like toothpaste promotions)
1. Danny Elfman, "What's This?" - from "Nightmare Before Christmas"
2. John Mayer, "Waiting on the World to Change" - what a shitty message, though (don't wait...do something!)
3. Daniel Powter, "Bad Day"
4. Lily Allen, "Smile"
5. Amy Winehouse, "I'm No Good"
6. Chrisette Michele, "Your Joy"
7. Brandi Carlile, "The Story"
8. Jason Mraz, "The Beauty in Ugly"
9. Sufjan Stevens, "That Was the Worst Christmas Ever!"
10. Brett Dennen, "Ain't No Reason"
11. The Blow, "True Affection"
12. Paolo Nutini, "New Shoes"
13. Susanne Abbuehl, "In the Dark Pine-Wood"
14. Spektrum, "Don't Be Shy"
15. Teddybears (featuring Neneh Cherry), "Yours to Keep"
16. The Feeling, "Sewn"
17. Corinne Bailey Rae, "Put Your Records On"
18. Shawn Lee's Ping Pong Orchestra, "Kiss the Sky"
*many others downloaded but never listened to


CDs that BMG sent against my will because I was lazy:
1. Bruce Springsteen, "We Shall Overcome..." - not crazy about it. (sorry, Boss)
2. Five For Fighting, "Two Lights" - just sold this at the garage sale (some of the dumbest lyrics ever)
3. KT Tunstall, "Eye to the Telescope" - actually really like this one
4. Los Lonely Boys, "Sacred" - like this one as well
5. Matthew Sweet & Susanna Hoffs, "Under the Covers" - tried to sell this at the garage sale (no one else wanted it either)
6. Ray LaMontagne, "Till the Sun Turns Black" - super mellow, and I like it
7. Snow Patrol, "Eyes Open" - apparently music snobs don't like this, but I love it
8. Yeah Yeah Yeahs, "Show Your Bones" - sold at the garage sale
9. John Mayer, "Continuum"
10. John Legend, "Once Again"
11. 2007 Grammy Nominees - on its way right now
12. The Killers, "Sam's Town" - sold at the garage sale
13. Dire Straits & Mark Knopfler, "Private Investigations" - sold at garage sale (I think)


CDs I purchased with real live money or got for free from BMG:
1. Soundtrack to "O Brother, Where Art Thou?"
2. Amy Winehouse, "Back to Black"
3. Anna Nalick, "Wreck of the Day"
4. Soundtrack to "Spamalot" - love, love, love
5. Cyndi Lauper, "The Essential" - already bored with this and skip over the songs when they come up
6. Death Cab for Cutie, "Plans"
7. Dixie Chicks, "Taking the Long Way" - love this
8. Feist, "Let It Die" - purchased yesterday
9. Indigo Girls, "Rarities"
10. Janis Ian, "Between the Lines"
11. Johnny Cash, "Complete Live at San Quentin"
12. Joni Mitchell, "Ladies of the Canyon"
13. Nina Simone, "The Definitive Collection" - bought this for "Mississippi Goddam" mostly
14. Soundtrack to "Wicked"
15. Patty Griffin, "Living With Ghosts"
16. Peter, Paul & Mary, "The Best of Peter, Paul & Mary" - sold at the garage sale (but burned "Lemon Tree")
17. Pink, "I'm Not Dead"
18. Tracy Chapman, "Tracy Chapman"


CDs gifted to me/us:
1. Indigo Girls, "Despite Our Differences"


I think there's more, but I'll have to consult my music list on my other computer to be sure. And check the CD cases at home for stuff we got that I didn't like enough to upload.

Woman=girl, just so you know

Are they effing kidding with this shit? NEC Corp. is trying to appeal to "working women" with a pink, crystal-Hello-Kitty-adorned laptop. "PC users now tend to be men, but we're hoping to attract women with this product," says company spokesman Shinya Hashizume.

So there you have it. The way to attract women to a product is to 1)make it pink, 2)make it sparkly, and 3)put cartoon cats on it. Why? Because in the minds of patriarchal assbags everywhere, "women" are indistinguishable from "girls." And cats.

A little weekend music, 6/1/07

Friday Weigh In, 6/1/07 (Ain't Happenin' Edition)

Sorry, folks. There was no official weigh-in this morning. So you're gonna hafta wait a week to see if I hit the 30-pound mark.

Why this state of affiars? Well. It's like this. Our downstairs neighbors, who have been our downstairs neighbors for nearly two years, are moving in two weeks, and we've only recently discovered that we like each other enough to hang out. I'm not really sure why that is, though I suspect it's because we both assumed we wouldn't have much in common. Which turns out not to be the case. So, we've been spending our evenings playing with them, watching movies and such. And last night we asked them if they wanted to go to the farmers market in town, which we did, not knowing it was going to suck so much. We parked at the grocery store across the street and walked over to the market in the square. And then we went to the grocery store so the neighbors could scope out dinner options (we had chicken and mashed potatoes planned). Well, on the walk to the store, we caught a whiff of the Chinese buffet next door and commented on how good it smelled. I think you know where this is headed. Stef said they'd never eaten there. I remarked that we had eaten there only once on accounta seeing a mouse run across the floor. And we all agreed that a different Chinese restaurant was our favorite anyway. So we entered the store, whereupon the neighbors found nothing exciting for dinner. And then I, in an apparent (or transparent) attempt to sabotage this week's weigh-in, commented that I wouldn't object if everyone else* wanted to go to this other Chinese restaurant that was so conveniently located just on the other side of the square. And so we did, and it was delish.

And then on the ride home, Stef joked that we could go to the Dairy Twirl. After which Chris insisted that if we were to do such a thing, we would have to walk. To which I said that would be okay. And so we did that, too. And it wasn't as delish, but it was ice cream, so how can you really bitch about it?

So, after spring rolls and kung pao chicken and a chocolate shake (sounds like a great combination, no?), I decided that there would be no weigh-in today. It would be artificially high on accounta both the sodium and the sheer volume of food I consumed, which I normally do only after weighing in. So, it'll hafta wait for next Friday. Deal with it.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I have to admit that I suspected that this week's weigh-in would be distressing all the way back on Tuesday, when I decided at 10:30pm that my willpower was no match for the Hamburger Helper leftovers in the refrigerator. Five points worth. And then on Wednesday when I did it again. So it's probably fair to say that last night's sabotage was more (sub)consciously intentional than accidental. My apologies to Chris, who was trying to be good.

Next week I promise to be on my best behavior. I have a few pairs of shorts I haven't been into for a few years, and it would be nice to add them to the summer rotation. The stuff that fits me at this body size is not for summer wearin', and I'm too cheap to buy new stuff. And there ain't no motivation like sticky.


*This is what I do when I want something but don't want to take responsibility for wanting it. A character flaw, no doubt, but not one I'm likely to devote any time workin' on. Just part of the package.

Hair blogging

For those of you who don't know me, this picture will mean nothing to you. Except maybe to prove that my claims to being blank of gender are bogus. See a previous post where I agree with you. I was gonna post a picture of my hairy legs to offset the girlie-ness of the hair, but the angle at which I had to take the pictures made my legs look like they belonged to an Oompa Loompa, and my vanity won out. You'll have to trust me. They ain't been shaved since October of 2005.

For those of you who do know me, this picture probably indicates a pretty radical shift from what you've known me to look like. I've done the long-short-long-short dance for years, but I had done the short thing since the summer of 2001, and most of the people I know in real life today are people I've met since then - and who I left behind two years ago when we moved to New Hampshire. (Which makes me think I'm not so good at keeping friends. Or making new ones. Hm.)

Anyway, just thought I'd share with y'all. It's about as close as this blog'll get to posting a photo of me. Next I'm gonna try to capture my gray streaks. I am quite proud of them.