Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Who needs men, anyway?

So, it looks like men are slouching toward irrelevance once again. 'Cause, see, researchers in Germany were able to take bone marrow and create something rather sperm-like. Which means, as you could very well guess, that women everywhere will kick their men to the curbs any minute now. Any minute now. Just you wait. Any minute now all those bitches are gonna shit all over the Nice GuysTM who have done nothing but love them and take care of them. Bitches.

MSNBC contributor Brian Alexander is clearly worried about just such a situation. After acknowledging that all the fear-mongering about women making babies without Teh Penis is silly, he still comes out with this gem:

"I just want to know why you women are in such a rush to get rid of us. Sci-fi and fantasy literature are full of all-female societies like Wonder Woman’s home island. New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd penned a friendly little book in 2005 called “Are Men Necessary?” Are you trying to give us a complex or something?"

He goes on to say that men are nearly irrelevant now, what with all the neglect they experience at the hands of women who are interested in something other than men's every fucking desire. But he sees a place for a few lucky fellers down the road. "Frankly, you only need a small tribe of us guys equipped with porn magazines and plastic cups. You could feed us, groom us and give us a little exercise — pretty much like you do now," he says. Isn't it cute how he envisions himself as one of the Chosen Ones we'd keep around, well-fed and plied with porn? What I want to know, among other things, is why after this inevitable revolution women will STILL be expected to feed and groom men. Can women never escape this lot? Fuck you, sir.

He closes by offering a threat to women's currently oh-so-cushy existence, which, as we know, is supplied solely by these Nice Guys. "So ladies," he says, "laugh it up while you can because once those artificial eggs and the artificial womb hit the market, you’ll be buying your own dinners at Chez Francoise."

And he wonders why some of us are in such a rush to get rid of men.

9 comments:

jluw said...

Brian Alexander is a complete YUK, as my mother would have said. I find his tone odd. While he says that the concept of man-less birth is silly, he goes on and on and proves he is worried. This concept really bothers him. Men don’t need women to give them complexes. Ever since men took over religion, pushed women into a subservient role and burned strong women who opposed them at the stake, they have feared reprisal. It’s been a long time coming…

PortlyDyke said...

Yes, but it looks like we'll still need them for their marrow.

Which will give "jumping your bones" a whole new meaning. ;)

quixote said...

Isn't Mister Alexander's problem one of over-generalization, aka, stereotyping, aka, sexism, aka DA STOOPIDS? And hasn't the trend of human evolution been toward larger brains? So, sure, Mister Alexander may be in trouble. But why generalize from that to men in general? Same mistake, no?

(And another thing: in a world of all women plus the occasional man or two, he'd have to be really down the scale to be using a pic and a plastic cup, but I guess he knows himself best.)

Anonymous said...

The question I have is this. If we reach a time when men are kept like pets for their sperm, will there really be images of women in submissive, offensive, demaning poses readily available for "filling the cups"? I assume not.

NameChanged

Anonymous said...

The question I have is this. If we reach a time when men are kept like pets for their sperm, will there really be images of women in submissive, offensive, demaning poses readily available for "filling the cups"? I assume not.

NameChanged

Anonymous said...

sorry about the repetition. accidental double click.

NameChanged

Gender Blank said...

NameChanged, you make an excellent point.

But don't forget about those Pussycat Doll types who argue that gettin' photographed naked and englittered is, in and of itself, empowering. If, by some miracle, they're right, their behavior should persist even after men are only pets. If, on the other hand, they quit doing it after the revolution, when there are no longer any men to consume them, can I tell them "I told you so?" Just askin'.

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