Monday, February 5, 2007

Boycott Snickers!

I hate to do this to my father, as he is a Snickers lover, but I am calling for an immediate boycott of Snickers and all affiliated products.

Why would I do such an unAmerican thing? Well, it seems that the douchebags over at the Snickers HQ thought it would be a good idea to trade in a little homophobia in honor of the Super Bowl. As though professional football weren't already a hoppin' hotbed of homophobia.

The offense in question involves their commercial in which two mechanics accidentally kiss while eating from opposite ends of the same Snickers bar. Thoroughly disgusted by what has transpired, one says, "Quick! Do something manly!" Whereupon both of them proceed to rip out their chest hair to prove their straightness. For now I am leaving aside the insane conflation of sexuality with gender "strength" and will proceed to the real outrage.

It seems that on the Snickers website, you can view and vote for three alternate endings to the commercial. In the first, an effeminate man asks to join the "love boat," as though gay men are all just dyin' to find a threesome with any ol'body. In the second, the men drink motor oil and antifreeze - 'cause, you know, it's better to be dead than gay. In the last one, they beat the shit out of each other, making violence against gay people seem like a reasonable course of action if one happens to kiss you. Or if you happen to kiss him. Either way, beating up a suspected gay person is apparently "manly."

In addition, the site shows reactions of Bears and Colts players to the kiss, ranging from scrunched-up-in-disgust faces to comments of "ain't right." Thanks, guys, for being embassadors of your queerfraid sport. I'm not sure why I expected more.

But I expected more from Snickers. I don't know why, but I did. I guess I just didn't think that in 2007 this type of overt hatred would be endorsed by anyone, let alone such visible corporations as Snickers and the NFL. That's right...the NFL has allowed their official logo to appear on this website.

So, let's see how many things I get to boycott here: Snickers, Mars (parent company), the NFL, the Chicago Bears and the Indianapolis Colts (for appearing on the site with such grotesque reactions). And the Daytona 500, for agreeing to air whichever version was most popular with voters. And FOX for airing the Daytona 500. All of these should be easy enough for me. But my poor father!

I have contacted Snickers and insisted that until they pull the ad campaign and issue a public apology, they will have lost me and my family as customers. I hope that's okay with my family!


Amy said...

right on! but did you love Prince at halftime? The curtain, the phallic was awesome!

Gender Blank said...

I missed the live halftime show, but I saw clips of it on Countdown. I'd give props to Prince for the subversion, but since when is celebrating the penis subversive? Nothing against Prince, really...I place the blame squarely on the Patriarchy!

Amy said...

I agree...the last thing we really need at the Superbowl is more penis worship. The good part was imagining all of the focus on the family a-holes as the realization of what they were seeing came over them.

Gender Blank said...

Now, THAT I can celebrate!