Friday, November 30, 2007

The big trip to the City

So, my family drove out to New York for Thanksgiving week, and we went to New York City for a day and a half. And in that day and a half, I took 349 pictures. Well, actually the first two pictures in the set are of my cat, Ernie, sitting on the computer at home. She was just too much sitting there all cute while I was getting the previous 220 pictures off the camera. Much like she's sitting there all cute as I write this. So, I really only took 347 pictures in the City. But that's nothing to sneeze at. Several of them are blurry as hell on accounta the bus would lurch forward just when I pushed the button. And some are dark because I guess I just don't understand cameras. Even with all the helpful little pictures on the dial. Oh well.

The trip, by the way, was fabulous despite getting rained on. My father and I rode on top of that damned bus in the rain and saw the hell out of that town! I was right when I said a few posts back that the sheer magnitude of the place might be overwhelming. But it was strangely unintimidating. The buildings were effing huge, and there were people everywhere, but I absolutely loved the energy. And I was expecting, on accounta of growing up in Iowa and only knowing what the teevee told me about the place, for people to be walking around guarding their shit. But they weren't. I saw several people who would've made great candidates for a purse snatching, just walking along talking on cell phones with their purses and bags dangling over their shoulders on two fingers. In that sense, it looked just like a regular city. Without the capital C. And it didn't smell nearly as bad as I thought it would. So that was good.

The weather was really an interesting part of the whole thing. It was rainy and cold the day we went, but at 5pm, it got noticeably clearer and much warmer. It was like all those buildings exhaled at quitting time, and the rush of heated air and people out into the streets was enough to warm the place up at least twenty degrees. I went from wearing a winter coat, scarf and gloves at noon to walking around in jeans and a polo shirt at 6pm. It wasn't warm exactly, but it was warm enough.

Oh, Manhattan, Old Girl, how I loved thee, and how sad I am to have to admire you from afar until I save up enough money to be able to step on your island again. 'Cause that's one thing that turned out to be just like the teevee said. You ain't cheap.

Anyway, here are some of my favorite pictures from the trip. And Ernie from the night before.














Ernie














I took this one mostly for my friend Bobbi. It makes me laugh in a very uncomfortable kind of way. You may need to enlarge to see the words in the window to see why.














This is the two-year-old who traveled with us. Effing doll. Other tourists actually took pictures of him with that monkey leash on.



















Central Park. We didn't go in very far because we had a lot of shit to cover in a day, but what we saw was nice.














My favorite tree in Central Park














Just a pretty building somewhere on the Downtown loop














This is where I think all my people were hanging out that day.



















Empire State Building



















Empire State Building looking all Ghostbuster-y



















The last one of the Empire State Building, I promise.



















'Cause no one ever takes a picture of her ass.



I may post some others after I edit them a bit, but we'll see. This is three posts in two days, after all. I gotta work my way back into the routine slowly.

An update on which celebrities I look like



So I uploaded a way more recent picture, and this crop of people seems to be a bit more representative than last time I tried it. Still no Bette Midler, though.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Okay, Smarty


Care about world hunger? Think you have a big vocabulary? Then go here. The very worst that could happen is that you get a vocabulary test. The best that could happen is that you feed the world. With your brain. I have never felt better about knowing words and junk.

Out of the mouths of freshmen...

Here's one for the quote wall:

"Why would I be drinking in my room? I'm in sweatpants!"

I've gotten a solid two weeks of laughter out of that one. So I guess I should be thankful.

Ah, freshmen.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

My celebrity look-alikes - WTF edition



All I have to say is...WTF? I haven't even heard of five of these people. Most of them are sorta pretty, two of the people on this list are Asian, and one is Meg Ryan. I look similar to exactly none of them.

You know who I get compared to most often? Bette Midler. Strangely she didn't make the list. Perhaps it was the picture I used. Or maybe it's only because I'm funny and swear like a trucker that she comes to mind when people think of me. It's a mystery (although my mother has been told that she looks like Bette Midler, too, so perhaps it's in the genes).

But Meg Ryan? I mean, come on! People who know what I actually look like have to be scratching their heads on that one.


h/t to Portly Dyke

Monday, November 5, 2007

'Cause Phydeaux said I had to post something...

Greetings, dear readers. Sorry to have left you hanging for, as Phydeaux pointed out, over a fortnight. That is clearly unacceptable, and I apologize.

It's just that this job makes me fucking tired. Dealing with 200 freshmen and their decisions makes me tired. Steering a staff of 19- to 22-year-olds who mostly only care about themselves makes me tired. And dealing with 15 mostly-way-younger colleagues makes. me. tired. But I asked for it, and for the most part I enjoy it, so I should quit my bitching.

What I need is a vacation. And I'm gonna get one in a couple of weeks when all these yahoos go home for an entire week and are replaced by my parents, my sister, and my 2-year-old nephew. We'll be hopping a train into New York City and doing all the typical touristy things (Empire State Building, Ellis Island, Central Park, etc.), red buses and all.

For some reason, it makes me teary to think about me, a fat girl from Iowa, standing in Central Park. I grew up across the street from a cornfield that would fit into Central Park several times over, so the magnitude itself is overwhelming. But even more overwhelming than that is the fact that I grew up across the street from a cornfield. In Iowa. In a town of 979 people. And I'll be in New York Effing City, which always kind of represented "getting out" to me. When you grow up in the Midwest in a working class family, going someplace of the caliber (and distance) of New York City is often a dream but rarely a reality. Aside from my mother, I can't think of anyone else I know from my hometown who has been there. So, perhaps I'm just a country bumpkin, but this is kind of a big deal to me.

It will also be my first time on a train. Apparently I don't get out much.

But until that vacation comes (after which I will need another vacation, natch), I will be putting up with all the usual shit. I got to hear my first alcohol violation cases today (not that we haven't had them, but I am new so I wasn't cleared to hear them before this week), and we had a marijuana bust tonight. By the end of the week I will have chosen two new staff members (from a very weak pool), and I am organizing a mocktail party/winter formal for all the freshmen on campus with a budget of approximately zero dollars. Oh, and some kid put popcorn all over his roommate's shit - under his sheets, inside his pillow case, in his shoes - for no apparent reason. What the fuck is that?

To top it all off, our book club selection went from bad to worse. Instead of The Devil Wears Prada, we're going to be reading The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks. Which feels a bit like cheating on real books. Seriously, I feel a little ashamed.

I have a feeling the next alcohol violation will be mine.



P.S. Thanks to Phydeaux for the kick in the pants. Sometimes I need that.