Monday, October 1, 2007

Did feminism ever happen?

Wanna barf a little? Read this article from the Iowa City Press-Citizen. That should do the trick. If you're too lazy or scared to click the link, I've done you the supreme courtesy of republishing some of the ickiness right here. Get a load of this.

"I’ve always wanted to be in Playboy,” said [Kim] Mueller, a 22-year-old sociology major from Mundelein, Ill. “I think women’s bodies are really pretty and deserve to be shown off,” she said. “I think it’s empowering for women.”

Where the eff are these young women's minds? Exactly how, I ask, is displaying the most vulnerable parts of the most degraded bodies "empowering" for anyone besides the voyeur? I mean, I think women's bodies are really pretty, too, but taking pictures of them and putting those pictures in a magazine like Playboy does nothing but turn human females with pretty bodies into nothing more than objectified sex receptacles, which is pretty much the exact opposite of empowering. Young women are fooling themselves if they think men are respecting the hell out of their pretty female bodies, not to mention the minds and souls that are part of the package. No, the minds and souls can be easily discarded, leaving nothing but a pretty picture to which millions of men will soon be beating off. Those two-dimensional glossy bodies may get pearl necklaces out of the deal, but they won't be the respectable kind.

In a stunning blow right to the solar plexus of the feminist movement, after initial skepticism and disappointment, Mueller's mother is finally really excited for her daughter to objectify herself. It's every mother's dream, really, so I guess I understand. But it's no big shocker that Mueller's boyfriend "has been even more supportive." In fact, and I know you'll find this nearly impossible to believe, he's the one who heard about the audition and urged her to give it a try! What a nice young pimp he's turned out to be, sharing his girlfriend's body with the world like that. Take this boy home to meet your mother, Ms. Mueller. They both seem to have your very best interests at heart, and I'm sure they'll get along famously.

I'm also a huge fan of Playboy's recruitment tactics, decorating a suite at the Sheraton in black, gold and pink. 'Cause you know as well as I do that the only way to attract a hot college woman is to paint something pink. Actually, now that I think about it, that probably is the best way to attract the kind of women who think Playboy is totally neat-o. They've so easily swallowed the Playboy punch that I'm sure they've been taken in by the Power of Pink, too. I just hope they don't break their stilettos in their enthusiastic rush toward all that empowering nakedness.

Cynthia Kaye, the stylist on site interviewing these young women, thinks this is some sort of resume-builder. “You really do feel like a celebrity when it comes out,” Kaye said. “I think it's something that you take with you.” Yes, it totally seems like something you might take with you, say, to a job interview. Or perhaps to have your teeth cleaned. Sadly, you may have no choice in the matter. 'Cause, unfortunately, your dentist and your potential new boss may have already experienced your celebrity status with you, Miss October. And you just can't put a price on that kind of empowerment.

23 comments:

Amy said...

gross.

ken said...

Don't you just feel like you're going effin' mad sometimes? I feel like this a lot lately. I expect there to be healthy debate and disagreement about some things but not over the empowerment potential of Playboy or the latest make-me-pull-out-my-hair ad campaign: Tonka is reverting to the boys are built differently and so need to play with trucks argument. Check out their website. Actually--drink a glass of wine and then check it out. It may help.

Gender Blank said...

ken, I checked out the Tonka site, and I'm composing an e-mail to them in my head. Perhaps I'll post that next. Thanks for the tip!

MonkeyPants said...

Here's another story about women using their pretty bodies to empower themselves (or in this case improve themselves). Can't be empowered until you're new and improved, you know. This is from msnbc.com's TIDBITS October 2, 2007 column on the Entertainment page:

*****
"After a lifetime of suffering insecurity and poor body image, Heidi Montag did indeed place herself under a surgeon’s knife last April — and supportive boyfriend Spencer Pratt couldn’t be prouder!

“I’ve always been very insecure about my body,” the “Hills” hottie told Us Weekly, confirming speculations about her nose job and breast augmentation. “On the beach, if I was standing next to a girl with big boobs, I’d be like, ‘I hate her!’ I hated my nose too. I have my dad’s nose, which is huge. It took up so much of my face, when I looked down, I could see my nose. I couldn’t get away from it!”

Heidi denied that Playboy Bunny-lovin’ Spencer pressured her into the surgery. In fact, she told Us, he was really supportive. The day she went in for the operation, “Spencer said, ‘I’m so proud of you.’ It was like he was wishing me well off to school: ‘Love you! Bye!’”

*****
Isn't it so cute that he's proud of her? For having the courage to prefer death to keeping her horrendous nose and useless small breasts?

I can't decide which of them should be my new hero...

MonkeyPants said...

Oh. I forgot to include the part of the msnbc. com article where Heidi actually says she'd prefer to be dead that the way she was before surgery. Sorry 'bout that! Here's that quote:

*****
What’s more, Heidi said she fully understood the seriousness of surgery. “Right before I went in, I was like, ‘What if I don’t wake up? Oh, this is scary.’ Then I thought, ‘I don’t care. If I don’t wake up, it’s worth it.’ I just wanted it so badly.”
*****

Now do you see my dilemma? Who would you choose to be your new hero?

Anonymous said...

Vern Mueller must be ashamed

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